Thursday, February 5, 2009

I Want to Love You Madly

It's been a really, really, REALLY long time since I've had an actual crush on someone. 

And every day, it's getting harder to hide. I don't even know why I feel like I have to hide it. 

No, wait. 
I do now. 

This is ridiculous. I should just say something....but what if the timing's not right? The timing HAS to be right. It's extremely crucial. Otherwise, the prospective relationship will start off on the wrong foot. And there's nothing I hate more than starting off on the wrong foot - almost makes me want to put a stop to things right then and there. 

But that's just the perfectionist in me I guess. 

While I love having crushes, it's so hard to keep it a secret. I always feel like I have to tell someone. It's almost like relieving myself of this huge burden that is my undeniable attraction to someone I once labeled as "not my type". 

Maybe I'm crazy; maybe he's still not my type but I don't care. I'm in too deep now. Like I said, it's been a really long time since I've actually had a crush on anyone. Usually I'll just think someone's cute. In fact, I believe that's how this started up. I saw him and thought he was cute, and now that I've gotten to know him, I want to spend more time with him. 

It's probably not very wise of me to post a blog like this, but I'm feeling a little irresponsible so I'll let it slide. But after this, no more! I'll keep my feelings inside and that's where they'll stay until someone coaxes them out. 

In the meantime, I'm going to ask God for some patience. He and I both know that I could use more of that!

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